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Take Care of Yourself While Letting Go
If you like this article:
"Your mood and energy newsletter really ‘hit home’....
Standing on the cusp of seeing my dream become reality is becoming kind of scary...Inside, I feel excited...and also a little stressed...the days go by so fast now...there is so much to do...so much to "prepare" for...
I know I need to learn to say "no" to things that don't serve me...Instead, I find myself eating (lots and lots of carbs....not enough fruits and veggies....really feeling very unhealthy...) stuffing my face until I feel full...and then I worry about my health/weight...
This eating...that is my warning sign...when I am outwardly stressed/anxious, I eat...and I don't eat well...
Also, I am so concerned about everyone else's reactions toward this dream and all the change that may come with this dream coming true...Why now, in the midst of all this "good stuff", am I having a hard time?
I wake up in the morning with all these good, wonderful intentions..."I will take care of myself today. I will eat well, and spend some quiet time thinking/journaling,etc."...but instead, I find myself super - concerned with the needs of others around me...I don't feel balanced...but I do feel the need to get "back on track"...
I am getting lots and lots done and my days are so full...but I feel a longing for a simpler sort of adjustment...a more peaceful -in -my heart feeling as I am going through everyday life...I want to embrace this dream and move forward with peace in my heart, knowing, really knowing, that everything and everyone involved will be ok, and happy :)
Is there any sort of ritual/meditation, etc. that can help me move through this dream peacefully...anything I should keep in mind...any thing that will help me move forward with peace and love in my heart..."
The letting go phase of transformation can be chaotic – you know, the old equilibrium has to get tossed around – turned into disequilibrium – until it is time for the new equilibrium to come into existence. While you are in the letting go phase of transformation, it can be important that you create some order around yourself before you get swept away by the process. Establishing this order helps you stay connected to your natural rhythms and allows you to access your wisdom.
Here are some recommendations.
Consistently and deliberately take time each day to journal, meditate, breathe, and reflect.
New insights will be coming all the time and taking time to reflect on your transformation will help you keep pace with the changes you are experiencing. Make time to process all of the internal and external changes that you are going through.
Just to sit and do nothing.
This gives you the space to connect with your newly emerging rhythms.
Track yourself.
What do you want to do and what did you do.
"Tracking is an essential component of any spiritual practice or discipline. It is an active tool that develops the objective, fair-witnessing mind. In tracking, we focus attention, maintaining curiosity and equanimity as we look at whatever is surfacing in our minds in the moment. This cultivates balance, objectivity, and discernment, allowing us to see courses of action that create positive change for ourselves and others." -Angeles Arrien
Set up a support system for yourself.
Someone not involved in your changes and transformation will help you keep an outside perspective and help you not get whipped around by your fears and worries. Staying anchored in yourself as you navigate the changes happening to you and others is essential. An outside support system that is focused only on you will help you accomplish this.
Bodywork can be indispensable.
As you make these kinds of transformations, emotions come up to be processed. Emotions are actually anchored in the body - usually in the muscles. You can process them intellectually and even emotionally but unless you also process them physically, emotional residual will linger and cause incompletion Some good, regular bodywork can be helpful. Consider massage, cranial sacral work, shiatsu, zero balancing.
Practice a daily balancing ritual.
In order to make really effective decisions that involve your body, your gut, your mind, your heart, your intution, and all levels of wisdom - you first have to be in a place of balance - a neutral place - where you are not giving undo significance to any one perspective but can encompass all perspectives harmoniously in one whole.
In the book Transforming Stress, Doc Childre presents the research done by the Institute of Heartmath regarding how to reach a neutral state and access all levels of your wisdom. He outlines a program for setting up a wonderful practice for transforming stress - a series of very effective heart centered practices. I recommend that you read the book and incorporate each of the techniques into a sincere daily practice. This will open the space for you where you can navigate the changes and transformations in a peaceful, calm manner.
Tie up loose ends.
Bring to completion nagging incompletions that you would rather not think about but which won’t go away – like telling your friend – whom you don’t speak to any more – that you are sorry your friendship has ended but you realize it is time to move on. Make a list and take some action to bring them to a close.
Get rid of tolerations.
Tolerations are things that you say are OK – you will put up with them - but really they just drain the energy out of you. Do you really have to answer the phone while you are eating?
It is important to get rid of all the petty and big annoyances in your life. The most important reason is that tolerations drain your energy. Also, by getting rid of these annoyances you begin to create forward momentum that can replace resistance with energy for change. By getting rid of the tolerations it is much easier to go after the bigger goals and aspirations in your life.
Don't underestimate the power of eliminating annoyances in your life.
Write down all the things you are putting up with. Most people have 50-100 or more. Nothing is too small or insignificant to be a toleration. Write down everything - especially the things that you think you can not change. Get them out of your head - out of your body and on paper.
Once your tolerations are on paper then start getting rid of them. Start with the easiest things first and build momentum and creativity while you reduce resistance. Soon you will notice an increase in energy, balance and inner peace.
Of course, there is the ever-present need for:
Great nutrition.
Basic Daily Nutritional Guidelines
- Protein –Total for the day - 1 gram for every 2.2 pounds of bodyweight.
- Vegetables – 7- 8 half cups servings (4 cups) of cooked veggies.
- Fruits – 1-3 servings of fresh fruit .
- Grains (emphasize whole grains) and low to moderate glycemic index carbohydrates – at least 225-275 grams of carbohydrates per day.
- Fiber – 35-55 grams per day.
- Calcium Rich foods – 2 servings.
- Water 1/2 oz per pound of body weight.
- Eat organic foods as often as you can.
- Increase the variety of foods that you are eating. Rotate your foods on a 4 day rotation plan.
- Eat until you feel full but not stuffed. A good rule of thumb is to stop when you feel 75% full.
- Keep your blood sugar balanced. Eat a meal or snack every 3 hours.
- Eat soups for satisfaction.
- Include more stews and casseroles – one pot meals are very satisfying and easy on stressed digestive systems.
- Eat a salad with oil and vinegar or lemon juice dressing at least once a day.
Other important lifestyle routines:
- 8-10 hours of high quality sleep every night – one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
- Plenty of time outside in the light – at least 30 minutes in the early morning.
- Consistent wake-sleep cycles - go to bed and get up at the same time every day.
- Regular, enjoyable exercise and physical activity.
- Getting rid of clutter and things that do not represent you anymore.
Even as you set up these supportive systems there will still be times when you will be thrown off balance in this process - afterall that is the intent of the process - to undo one place of balance and set up the next level of balance. It stands to reason that as your present balanced state is being undone that you will, at times, experience that untangling.
The aim is to keep moving through the process and not get stuck in the process. Allow the completion process to move through you and pass onto the next level - either things and people will move out of your life or reform on the next level - it is scary but also exciting.
And lighten up!
That's a lot of information to take in a once. For questions or help call 434-263-4669 or e-mail,
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© Copyright 1997 - 2008 by Mary Ann Copson and Evenstar. All rights reserved.
About the Author:
Mary Ann Copson is the founder of the Evenstar Mood & Energy Wellness Center for Women. With Master's Degrees in Human Development and Psychology and Counseling, Mary Ann is a Certified Licensed Nutritionist; Certified Holistic Health Practitioner; Brain Chemistry Profile Clinician; and a Health, Wellness and Lifestyle Coach. Reconnect to your physical, emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual natural rhythms at
http://evenstaronline.com
